i am so fat i broke my bike

see. told you.


I was all ready to put my brand new SKS p45 fenders on for this winters riding. So I grab my bike and go to the power washer a few doors down to rid the mud from the last cap city race. Then I noticed that.... Darnit. I really liked that this trek doesn't say 'trek' a gigajillion times on it, and everyone knows red is fastest. sigh.

So me and Proppe head out for a ride on the road bike. Instead of heading out at 9:30- we decided not to due to the tons of ice covering the streets. Headed out @ 1pm and got back @ 6. Got 73 miles in. dang. Even saw the infamous PM out and about. Fun ride. But the last 11 solo miles were miserable. Made it home in time for a clif bar, chicken sandwich, soup, and a hot shower, a 45 min nap, and then 2 slices of tremont famous Edisons Pizza w/honey and some brews.

Happy New Years everyone!!

bonkers

I must be going bonkers. I just signed up to do a running race.

Run With Your Heart 8k trail race.it's winter what else is there to do

join me, why don't you?

slice like a ninja cut like a razor blade

WLC2k11

It's gonna be tough. The Bullshit weather has come wayyyy too early, and will make for my body wanting to consume fatty treats, and watch full house reruns rather than go outside in 40mph winds.

running

So due to some unfortunate circumstances I wasn't able to race at states. Thus ending my season prematurely.

I am taking the entire month of December away from the bike except for rays and the 2 cap-city races. The reason I am doing the cap city races is because, I felt like my legs were just waking up at Kirtland, and don't have that feeling of 'burnout'.

I have however started my 'cross-training'. I am running. Yes, I just said 'I am running'. I have ran 5 of the last 7 days. 4-6 miles each time. Pace between 8:30-9:30 min/miles. This long winter I plan on doing a good amount of running/hiking. Ordered some nice new Keen hiking boots to make sure I force myself into doing that rather than putting a large dent in my couch.



I have some other goals later on in this long long thing we have, sometimes referred to as a 'cleveland winter'.
I am hoping to both
1. lose 10-15lbs
2. actually learn how to use my powertap(i.e. "train") with the help of someone who knows what the f they are doing-because I sure as hell don't.

If I come through with these 2 things, I should have a wonderful season next year.

$%#&!!!!

Kirtland is an awesome course. My favorite local one. Had a good race going(atleast for me) sitting around 8thish, feeling strong. After the climb up the stairset, we took the 'belgian descent'. My tire must have felt it was a good idea to find a very large sharp object. My tire didn't realize that by doing that it would get a large gaping hole in it immediately. My first reaction was heard by the entire ampitheater. And for those with small children around; i'm sorry. Roll into the pits. grab my 70psi bald mud2-(thanks doug from ba, and nate szabo for helping out.)

Race= over. Not over, because I still finished, but over. I lost too much time in the pits, and it was towards the end, couldn't gain much if anything.


On a lighter note, we headed over to the Happy Dog afterwards and had a jolly ol' time. I'd say about 40 people or so showed, it was nice to recap the season, and eat tots.

No states for me. pretty bummed about it.

2 interesting things on my ride today

I saw 2 things of interest on todays ride.

1. A Tesla Roadster. Pretty Sweet. Saw it in Strongsville. Sure, I see ferraris, lamborghinis, astons, and bentleys out on my rides, but those aren't as unique. The tesla ties with the Ariel Atom I saw in Berea last year for 'sweet cars seen on my bike' list.

2. A 'Handicapped Child' sign in Richfield. Someone spray painted porn underneath child. As I read 'Handicapped Child Porn', my first thought was 'what jerks for ruining public property', than i thought 'that is very rude and offensive to a lot of people', than i thought 'that was pretty crafty and hilarious'. I love having the maturity of a teenager sometimes.

see you at kirtland.

thoughts from my smart brain

Thought 1: Spins course is awesome. I wish I did better, but could have done a lot worse. Thanks Spin dudes and dudettes who put on a great event.

Thought 2: My new Smartwool Heavy Ponte Jacket is probably the coolest article of clothing that I have ever used.

Thought 3: This taillight is bananas. B-A-NA-NA-S. By the makers of my beloved radbot 1000. Instead of 1 1.0 watt led, this has 2 .5 watt leds, with an insanely awesome flashing pattern, and not as ugly as the radbot.
Thought 4: I will not be racing this weekend as for some reason I am needed to work in case we get a large mob of people wanting bicycles in November.

Thought 5: I love my tarmac. It is the best bike ever. I like my other bikes, but I don't love them like I do the tarmac. Can't wait to throw on the new shoes.

Thought 6: Ordered a Chris King headset for the new bike. Hopefully a bike I will love as much if not more than the tarmac.

LOUISVILLE

It is so choice. If you have the means to make the trip, I highly suggest it.

Got a 3rd row start thanks to signing up real early. Sucks for whoever lined up beyond 100, except for flecher who if had started 3rd row probably would have won both days.

1st day- 18th
2nd day-26th after a stupid stupid crowd pleasing fall with my wheel coming out of alignment again.

My stupid costume hasn't arrived for Davis' so Im stuck with a half ass attempt at one in the wee hours leading up to it. I'll be there Saturday, but will miss Sunday as I have been requested to work by 'the man'.

C-town puts the Beat-down

cap city race domination
1-4 place in the 'B'race all TLE members. 1-6 in the 'A' race. All said 8 lake effectists went down and all came up in the money. Nice job team.

Got a good spot in the start. Proppe took off like a bat out of hell and was off the front. Weeks and PM rode me off after the 2nd or 3rd lap. Cameron, Greg, and myself were riding together for a few laps. Cameron attacked on the paved section, and put a 15 sec or so gap on us. Greg and I rode together for awhile trying to catch Cameron. We were getting within about 5 seconds according to people yelling' only 5 seconds!' at us. Last lap my back was starting to really yell at me. Greg pulled away slowly and caught Cameron. It was a sprint for 4th with Cameron taking it. I rolled in for the last money spot in 6th. Pretty happy with my result. Nice job reppin' cleveland dudes.

NEXT UP: The best weekend of the year. (Cincy)

I even got to ride with this guy for a little bit

KINGS

It was 90 degrees all weekend! What the heck. Horrible cross racing weather. The course was super dusty and dry. Why did I crash? That hurt. Cincinnati is horrible for allergies. Maybe I'm allergic to Cincinnati. It made living horrible. Also, why did I suck both days? Damn near DFL on both days. I felt anemic during the race. Next time I come down here I best be putting the whoop on some people.

On the brighter side of things, the weekend wasn't a total waste. We met a micro-nuclear scientist who had a 'chromed' out Raleigh back home in Myrtle Beach, and I tried I-HOP for the first time in my life.

Great job to both Nate Loman and John Proppe for having made much much bigger dents into the tough competition.

I will not be able to make Stark KSU because of work this weekend. Unfortunately that may put me out of the required 6 races needed to be included in the overall series points. (not that I'm in contention for the top spots) With this weekend out, a dnf at wendy, and doing USGP over the NEOCX series im already out 3.

Keep the rubber side down boys and girls.

Oh, Wendy

Why, must you be so cruel to me? I've raced you three times now and have yet to finish. 3 flats in 3 years.
2 years ago was my first cross race- I made it 500 feet and flatted.
last year I made it about 1/2 way
Today I made it about 2/3s
At the rate I'm going- and according to my calculations being double checked by the Lake Effect Laboratory; by 2013 I should be able to complete a whole race @ Wendy Park without getting a flat.

$65 the past 2 weekends and I get DNFs. I don't know what I did to piss off the cycling gods. I mean, yea I ran Bontrager wheels on my Specialized, and I haven't cut the steertube on my trek yet, but does it really warrant the pain you are causing me?

I plan on being extra nice to the gods this week. I will wash my bikes, wave to every cyclist I see, and try to commute to work almost every day. I need to redeem myself so I can do well at KINGS CX and get PAID! 15 deep.

Besides for getting a flat, the rest of the race sucked for me. I got a bad start, and knew immediately that today wasn't my day. So I guess without the flat I still would have had a bad race at Wendy. Thank God for Melt afterward.

Great Job to Matt Weeks for killing it. and John Proppe for getting some cash for 6th.
Great Job to Team Spin/RR Donnely for putting on a fun race regardless of my bad luck.
And a Get Well Soon to my teammate Robert Sroka for the nasty fall he took.

cross culture

While everyone knows that cyclocross is the most fun sporting enviroment outside of base-ketball, that game where you do the slam dunks in an arena full of trampolines, and american gladiators; I believe some people are forgetting one important aspect.

Yes, I'm sure you know that heckling is a great way to piss off/make your friends smile while their turning their lungs inside out. For example when we were heckling Szabo to death the other day. Right after my very boisterous 'quit playing in the sand- what are you david hasselhoff?' to(which I pat my self on the back for quick thought wittiness). Szabo then preceded to die. Not really, but his leg cramped up and he was in pain. We got alot of dirty looks. But it felt great, knowing that beneath the agony that he was going thru, we helped make his day.

Secondly, everyone knows about beer. It tastes good. Open up a bottle, it may smell like cyclocross. Nothing tastes better after a hard 60 minute effort than a cold beer. Like that delicious Yuengling Mr. Bill Marut was so kind to offer. Nothing has ever tasted better in my life. Know whats better than beer after the race? Beer during the race. Sometime in the history of cyclocross some genius had a great idea to hand-up beer to racers during a race. Thank You to whoever thought of that.

Lastly and most importantly is facial hair. Now, I have been seeing some lack of facial hair at the first local race. Which is understandable, seeing as it is the very beginning of the season, however I hope to see an increase in facial hair participants. I know not everyone can do it, some because of their job, some because it itches, and John Proppe because he hasn't reached puberty yet. But I ask you all to put in a valiant effort.

Get Growing!

journey

I am embarking on a bicycle journey. I need a new bike. No, I want a new bike. No, I need a new bike. As not only an employee of a local bike shop, but a person who's hobby has grown to encompass nearly all parts of his life, I should get a new bike. I had thoughts of a caad10x, then I really, really wanted a Super-X. Then the more I thought about it, I wanted something a little different. For cyclocross racing I want something fun, different, and just plain cool. I will be slowly building up what I see in my eyes as the ultimate cyclocross racing bicycle. I will be documenting the entire build process on this blog. Due date of 2011.

thats a wrap on the road season

Well, today I went out with a fizzle on an already mediocre season. dropped, sweet. Thanks to the kids on the side who cheered on 'go biker go', i mustered enough to finish. I accomplished none of my goals this year. And didn't get my hands on too much money.

Maybe one more season to see if I'm an average cat3 for lifer, or something a little more.

Thanks to the jumper for messing up our psyche during the race. And to the police officer who almost killed me and the other 25 guys.

I'm gonna turn my frown upside down with cross coming, and can only hope that things go better next year.

Milk thoughts

This isn't a race report of the milk race. Because I sucked, and there's nothing to write about. However, there is something I need to get off my chest.

Dairymens Choclate Milk is the best in all the land.

Giant Eagle's is just not chocolaty enough.

Deans is just tooo chocolaty.

Muscle Milk is gross, expensive, and makes you feel like a jersey shore cast member when you drink it.

So for me, I rely on Dairymens:

a guide for ohio noobs to get into the sport

I wrote this for a friend thinking of trying his hand at racing. Thought maybe it could be a little informative to those thinking of diving in. My first few races I was a mess with upside down numbers, grease on the legs, etc.

Welcome to the fabulous world of bike racing.

Chapter 1: What to wear

One must wear a helmet. Said helmet will need to be affixed accordingly, not tilted up like a dork.
One must attach racing number upright and pinned with no less than 8 safety pins. If its flapping around you look like a goober.
One must wear a jersey and shorts that don't show the entire peloton ones bum. Replica jerseys unlike the acceptability in nearly almost every ball sport is the most uncoolest thing ever.

Chapter 2: Bike
Make sure your tires are aired up to proper pressure.
Make sure your chain is clean so you don't get rookie rings, cat 5 tattoos, etc. (black rings on your calves) - so not cool.
Its not about the bike.

Chapter 3: How well will I stack up?
Probably crappy.
But you'll never know until you try. You will be racing with Freddie McFrederson on his Scattante with 2 dork discs and a horn, Jimmy CantHoldhislineson, Triathlete Tom, and future cat 1er Peter PerfectPants.
In other words, a wide range of athletes will be out there.
So, if you are thinking you are a Peter more than a Jimmy, I would suggest you stay towards the front, as is often heard when looking for 'racing 101' info. On the other hand, if this is your very first race, and you haven't done a lot of pacelines, and group rides,
you are probably safer to the group if you are at the back. Besides you'll get the best draft.

Chapter 4:So.... lets race!
Right. But first you need to know how to do it.
If you are doing your first race you will buy a 1 day license when you register at the cost of $10
Registration for bike races is around $25-40. This helps pay for the cops to control intersections, the cost of setting the race up, and paying the prize money for the fast guys.

Go to ohiocyling.org, usacyling.org, or any of the local team websites to get more information on races.

If you can't beat them, look like you can.

so fast. (looking)

I can wear these with a tux


Heel Cup System is the bees knees, ankles, and most of the bees leg.

These are the brakes

Avid Shorty Ultimates. Very strong. Very cool. Very Euro. Well not really euro at all, but they are strong and cool.


Threw on some new Yokozuna cables for some smooth shifting to get me through another season of cross.

In other news I was on the computer at 12:01 to be among the first to sign up for Cincy. OHHH yea.

Got some my wheels laced up too. Uber strong. Mavic Reflex:King Cross Hubs:DT Supercomp:32h 3x F&R:brass nips:Challenge Grifo 32- still need to pick up some skewers and a cassette.

And lastly, I want a superX.

but for now...

I must make do with what I have. These will be used this year on the trek.
Chris King Cross Hubs.

2011

OH bike shop dreams when its really busy can only mean one thing... 2011 releases starting to come in. I WILL get a 2011 CAAD10 frame.

I LOVE the road bike i am on now I could only be happier if it were an S-Works. I also like my cross bike.

Do I build up a caad10 road frame and build it with campy just because I've always wanted both a caad frame and campy just to say I've had it. But when would I use it?

Do I build a cx10 frame? I could build it up with sram- and transfer over my new badass wheels and brakes I am getting for the Trek this year (more on that at another date). Make the Trek my Winter Bike, and make the cx10 a badass cross racing machine? Ohhh that sounds good.

oh, and when are carbon Dura-Ace pedals finally going to be released?!

okay. Sub 16lb caad10 cross bike slowly being built up for fall of 2011 sounds good.

a loss, a win, a loss and a win

Chippewa- AWESOME RACE! Wish I got into a better position. my fault, I probably wouldn't have got in the money anyway. loss.

Vultures Knob- Win. Sport class, but a win. I can now upgrade to 'expert'. and get my ass handed to me.

Westlake 5/25- tire blows out with 2 laps to go- loss, pete baughman wins the race- win.



Next up,
Das Tour De Frankenmuth (in my best impersonation of Conan O'briens impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger)

RATL #4

Cold.
Rainy.
Windy.
Real Windy.
I mean, really. It was Windy.
Try to be blocked from wind, doesn't help too much anyway.
Take off early for sprint, because as everyone knows I can't actually 'sprint'.
Best field finish at RATL this year. Ended up 9th. 1st cat 3. (not that it matters, but I like to polish turds)

I know thats not a picture of me at RATL. But its proof that I ride mountain bikes.

Next up,
Chippewa Creek. See you there.

RATL #3 , OMBC #2 the Grassman, and dorky bike stuff

Saturday was RATL #3. Debut of the new helmet. Legs feeling better. Took a few flyers, and was fairly active in the race. My sprint sucks. Went from the race to brecksville to meet up with some of my non cyclist friends and did a recovery ride from brecksville to the winking lizard on the towpath. I somehow spent $30 by myself.

Sunday, I decided to switch gears and play in the dirt. I raced sport class. It was dry when we lined up, and off we went. I got the hole shot, looked back and they were wayy back there. By the top of the first climb, another rider latched onto me. I was pacing the first lap, and we got a good lead. I happened to take the wrong line in the rock garden, and had a pretty nasty crash. The other rider thought I was dead. I wasnt. But my bike frame is all scratched, and my tailbone is killing me today .It was nice riding with Jordan(the other rider) though, he even chilled at the top of the wall on the first lap for a minute til i caught up. 2nd lap sucked. It started raining pretty good. Me and the other rider were still together when we hit 'the wall'. A gajillion ft climb hill where it was a hike a bike. I was dropped here, and luckily only had a mile to go. I somehow got 3rd place. Neither me or the other rider remember seeing 2nd place guy pass us?? Must have somewhere though. I didn't get the win that I wanted, but atleast I got $19 bucks and wasn't eaten by the grassman. I would like to race at vultues knob on the 22nd, and have a better result.


In other non-related news. I got this little guy:



The most euro-pro saddle bag you can find. Scicon Phantom 230. Made in Italy. Can only stuff a tube and a small c02 air chuck in there. Attaches to the seatpost via the roller 2.0 quick release system. So just twist the entire bag for it to release. Also another cool little feature is it comes with 2 tire levers sort of built into it as seen here:


A little heavy with the quick release system. But worth it for the pro points.



oh, and heres a little picture to help bridge the gap between talking about the amazing features of a seatbag and the Bone thugs:

yup.

sometimes i feel slow

To put it nicely, I had a less than desirable racing weeekend. I got dropped at RATL. Dropped. I havent been dropped from a race since i attempted to have our 3 man break stay away for the remaining 70% of the extremely windy race at kensington valley last year. I got back in, and atleast took some pulls, and tried to get a workout of it. Sunday I overslept the race. Atleast it turned out to be a nice ride down to see the finish(great job to DS), and met up with a few friends along the way.

See you tomorrow at Westlake. Hope I don't get another flat. And I hope I get fast soon. Maybe that new helmet will help. Thanks RS!

Hey Ranney Parkway

And Thank You for this:


And not even 30 min in. Atleast I won a prime. Nobody was really going for it though, as it was for a pink womens polo shirt. Damn.

The King of Bling

KMC X10SL in GOOOOOLD

How I spent my spring vacation

I originally was planning on taking a little trip to PA for some riding this weekend. Unfortunately some circumstances came up, and that was out of the cards. I've had no work or anything to do since 3/31. So it went like this:

Weds- 52 miles, went at a decent pace. hit some hills including hines hill and boston mills rd.


Thurs-46 miles down in columbus with Greg. It was 85 degrees, and the trail that cut through campus was packed with scantily clad college girls. I was really upset we didn't take the trail that cut through the Polish Grandmothers of America compound.


Fri-51 miles up into Lakewood and Rocky River at a quicker pace than thursday. Lots of people out in the park, but not as many as in columbus. I think the riding down there sucks compared to cleveland, but the amount of people outside and doing things was huge.

Sat- 30 miles at Mid-Ohio Grand Prix. Super Windy, threat of t-storm. Almost didnt go, but I did. Sun came out, and the wind died down just a little bit before we started. I finished with the group, but did nothing spectacular except feel like hurt. Tough wind, seems like the field dwindled down a bit from the start.

Sun-35 miles at Mohican- 25 of which was offroad. Beautiful day. Couldn't ask for it to be nicer. I finished the loop, and it was too nice out, so I just rode on the road for a little bit more. Met up with Johnny and Cameron on Wally road, and ended my day. Trail was in perfect condition.

Mon-17 miles at Vultures Knob (2 laps) Knob. Trail was in great shape. Had the trail to myself.

My new mountain bike is amazing. My last bike limited me. I am really going to enjoy riding this thing, and hope to do more mtbing this year.

training camp

Training Camp coming up soon.

Not really training. Not really a camp. Hope the weather is nice next weekend. I shall be on my bicycle, trying to do an Italian tune-up on my self.

group ride

First group ride of the year. First time in a group since racing in August. Rode up to Spin with my freshly shaved legs where I saw a pretty decent turnout. I was the only one with jersey and shorts. Most everyone else had vests, warmers, winter gloves etc. Luckily, I didn't get cold, until the ride home.

I hit 1221 watts on the first town line sprint I participated in. Had some 27mph paceline going for a little bit. Then it was time for hospital hill. I thought, hey lets see how fat I've got over winter. I look back after a few hammer throws and everyones in the distance. About 3/4 up, I see Aussie(wait didnt he get stuck at the light back a few miles ago?) closing in fast, and passed me like I was sitting still. I hacked up my lungs for the rest of the night.

Filled up the bottle at the shop, and took off for the ride home. It was slow, but I saw my boss on the way home, and that helped make a couple miles easier. Got home and ate alot. Probably shouldn't have ate the extra spicy sausage after such a hard ride.

Laser Boobs

bikes and laser boobs. like pizza and beer, chicken and waffles, milk and cookies, etc.

euphoria

Euphoria - is medically recognized as a mental/emotional state defined as a sense of great (usually exaggerated) elation and wellbeing.[1] Technically, euphoria is an affect,[2] but the term is often colloquially used to define emotion as an intense state of transcendent happiness combined with an overwhelming sense of wellbeing.

That is how I have felt this past week.

Maybe the whole 70 degrees and sunny has something to do with it.

Oh yea, goals for this year incase you want to make fun of me for not completing them:
complete the mohican 100k
Kill Grandview
Place well at TOTV
have the funnest of times
category upgrade
Do more fun cross races like the usgp in kentucky a few weeks after cincy.

If you need some toys head up to Bike Authority this week. They are having their annual blast into spring sale.

I want this

Its almost spooky how much I want this

i tried a new sport

I found out I am not good at cross country skiing.

I have never skiied before, downhill or xc; and I've been wanting to try it. So today Szabo and I head out to Chapin to give it a go.

I tried skate skiing at first and could never get the rhythm down, had zero technique, and stumbled all over the place.

I then tried classic style and although i felt much more comfortable on them, I did the most falling on these. They were tough to maneuver in.

On almost every downhill, I took ugly tumbling falls. Going down the 'death drop' as I named it, I was going to walk it, but was told by some strangers to just do it. I did. I fell. Twice. I now have a cut/bruise/bumped shin. Thanks strangers.

I would like to try it again however. It was horrible, but fun. I think I might want to give it another go with the skate style skis.

finally after much anticipation

It is here.

Stats:
29 inches of rolling thunder
23.85 lbs of welter weight fury
driven by 2 legs producing enough watts to get seismic readings

right.

well anyway here it is:
click on pics to get them all nice and big

2010 Specialized Stumpjumper Expert Carbon 29er



xtr pedals
x0 cassette
x0 gripshifts
redwin x0
scale
2 2010 carbon bikes
my new shirt

It says

Q: Will I be hitting up the trails more this year?

why in the world?

Why in the world would I have this?? Pictures coming soon.